Doctors Will Soon be Able to Transplant Pregnancies From Mother to Father
Research Into the Reproductive cycles of Seahorses has Led Scientists to Discoveries that will Soon Enable Doctors to Transplant a Pregnant Mother's Womb into Other People, Including Men
Marine biologists have long known that following mating, male seahorses take the fertilized eggs from the female and hold them in a pouch on their bellies—between 9 and 45 days later the fathers will give birth to as many as 1,500 living offspring—but until recently the details of how the males were able to accomplish this biological feat of magic remained a mystery to scientists.
...need details about plausible sounding stuff here...
That discovery led pharmaceutical giant Roritor Pharmaceuticals to isolating the protein markers which under normal circumstances would have led to rejection of a uterus transplant (and thereby endangering the fetus). A small trial which began nearly nine months ago is now nearing competition, with very promising results.
"I think it's fantastic" said anti-abortion activist, [need a funny name; & a funnier term, not proponent, not activist...] of [some silly fake anti-abortion group], "now we can pass laws stating that if the mother doesn't want the pregnancy, the father has to have it" he told [fake news name]. "We can finally end this holocaust of unborn children [need better silly description here] for once and for all."
Resources for writing this:
- Seahorses at wikipedia
- Brain Candy at wikipedia
- Transplanted Uterus story (covered by the Onion even!)
- So I can reference the real articles to make it seem more plausible!
- this Quora answer mentioning studies of mouse eggs implanting well everywhere except the uterus. She even provided references!
References for the mouse implantation studies:
Runner, M. N. (1947) Development of mouse eggs in the anterior chamber of the eye. Anatomical Record 98: 1-17.
Kirby, D. R. S. (1965) The "invasiveness" of the trophoblast. Pages 68-73, in W. W. Park (ed.), The early conceptus, normal and abnormal. University of St. Andrews, St. Andrews.
* mouse blastocysts implanted in kidney, spleen, testis, brain, liver
- I also was thinking we should encourage IVF users to donate their unused fertilized eggs to pro-lfie groups to gestate. At the very least we could probably bankrupt such groups with refrigeration costs or force them to turn down “kids”(!)